Game 1 / August 5

Game 1 / August 6, 2011


And they’re off!

Game 1 of the Bundesliga season and 1899 Hoffenheim is on its way to fulfilling the prophecy of „Abstiegskandidat“ (candidate for relegation). Lost 1 Won 0.

Hard to know where to start, so let’s start with something positive. Yes, Johnson was good. He was the only one playing as if he had something to prove. Everybody else was too complacent. Yes, he’s a great addition to the team, but one player does not a team make. Didn’t Hoffenheim already learn that last season with Babel?

Last season. That brings us to Hoffenheim’s favorite subject now, in past months and for the foreseeable future: that bad, bad, nasty Marco Pezzaiuoli. A name spoken in Hoffenheim circles only in the darkest tones and with a slow shake of the head. The only sure thing about Hoffenheim is that, whenever something negative happens, Pezzaiuoli is responsible for it. The perfect excuse since the previous excuse of Hoffenheim being „a young team which still needs time to develop“ is wearing thin and, besides, Rangnick has appropriated it now for Schalke. What would the second rate management do without Pezzaiuoli as a scapegoat?

The totally unbelievable official story of Pezzaiuoli brings us to Hoffenheim’s real political power: the small overpaid, underachieving, overglorified player clique who has (was given) the power to mob a trainer out of a job; they know who they are and, by the end of last season, so does the rest of the Bundesliga.

So how did they do in the game?

Well, Salihovic regularly gave the ball away as usual (to the opposing team, that is). If Salihovic weren’t so full of himself, he might actually be a player of note instead of the simply utilitarian player he is now. But when it comes to great acting routines, Salihovic is a master. He ranks right up there with the best in the Bundesliga, maybe even in Italian football. And this talent was on display again on Saturday as it is in almost every game that Salihovic plays. Nothing is more disgusting that watching him exaggeratedly flip over an outstretched foot, roll around, grimace, and hang onto whatever part of his body is most plausible to get a foul called. In other words, he’s sleazy - not the kind of player you would want your children to emulate.

And then there’s Obasi, the only Hoffenheimer who misses Demba Ba because he was such a great guy… Obasi plays as if he’s more concerned about getting injured (again!) than scoring a goal. This is what we’ve been waiting for? He delivered shots on goal that an amateur goalie could handle and, like Salihovic, gives the ball away. Frankly, Obasi was a huge disappointment. My money says he makes no goals at all this season. 

Ryan Babel – still impressed by him but it seems that he’s still struggling to fit into this team, whose Balkan Mafia probably doesn’t want him anyway. With him, it’s all a head game – and the local press as usual is pouring gas on the flame. Too bad Alaba is gone, he seemed to be Babel’s „connection“ and a really good influence. Babel knows how to get in front of things when he has the ball, more than you can say for most Hoffenheim players. Love to watch him play, would just like to see him score more goals, but of course that takes a team who’s willing to play with him.

His fellow countryman Braafheid lets his emotions get the best of him, makes foolish and way-too-hard hits which are clear fouls, and the team ends up paying for it. Saturday’s game was no exception. It’s not as if this behavior comes from inexperience. In light of it, it’s kind of surprising that he’s on his national team. On the other hand, as we saw in the World Cup last year, that seems to be the Dutch way, doesn’t it?

Re: the goal to 1:0. It was unsportsmanlike and unfair but it takes a complicit referee to make it happen. One can only speculate how it would have been perceived if it had happened to Dortmund or Bayern. And it’s absolutely rubbing salt in the wound when the Hannover coach, Slomka, not a particularly likeable guy to begin with, tries to characterize the player as „really clever“ for having taken the shot knowing the opposing team didn’t get the message. Sleaze is one way to win a game. Hope Hannover is the recipient of the same in coming games, especially in the Europa League.

Hannover was the lesser team with many, many unimaginative long balls, starting from the very beginning of the game. One has the feeling that these guys also practice the „great painful hit“ routine or maybe they were just inspired by Salihovic. At several critical times in the game it was basically Schlaudraff vs. Starke, who seems to have lost the magic of last season. All in all, Hannover was not really that impressive but they got a big lift from the home win.

And Hoffenheim? Their next game is against reigning champion Dortmund… But not to worry: it’s all Pezzaiuoli’s fault! (By the way, Pezzaiuoli won the last Hoffenheim game  against Dortmund – but you didn’t hear it from me.)