Stani's Team

Managing young talent is a skill in itself. That’s why Stanislawski is doubly right about stressing the team aspect of football for Hoffenheim. First, because it is a team sport which means rarely do great, lasting things happen based on individual star performance alone, and second, because it helps keep young egos in check. The “egos in check” business was what was overlooked in 2008-2009 – big time.

I have to admit that I was extremely skeptical of the choice of Stanislawski as Hoffenheim trainer. What? Was our Hoffi dog-bear mascot suddenly going to sport a skull and crossbones on his costume? Were Hoffenheim fans suddenly going to turn up for games pierced, tattooed, unshaven and with long hair? Were we all going to start hanging out and getting drunk or stoned at gas stations in red light districts? Were the young players suddenly going to shape up and mature because the trainer was just one of the guys?

Let’s not forget also that, although Stani was beloved by St. Pauli fans, he had only coached one Bundesliga season at the end of which his team was relegated. That’s not a very high recommendation.

I was disbelieving that a player turned coach with a decades-long history with only one mediocre team but an extremely pronounced alternative fan culture could fit into any other football environment, let alone thrive in one. In business, years ago, they used to say, “You can take the man out of IBM but you can’t take IBM out of the man.” Well, some football clubs are like that, too. Only, St. Pauli is about as opposite to the IBM image as you can possibly get.

I know, I know. The PR machine and Hoffenheim management did a great job (in compensation) of letting everyone know that “Stani” finished first in his coaching qualification course a couple of years ago. But we all know people who do well in taking tests but in real life, in application of learned skills, fall flat on their faces. And his record on the field until Hoffenheim was not impressive.

Last but not least, the fact that the local press was promoting him as the second coming of Christ made me more suspect than anything. Those folks are so transparent sometimes, it’s a wonder they can be seen entering and leaving the stadium. Most often they’re just telling us what someone in the Hoffenheim organization (management or players) wants us to hear. They also wrote great things, by the way, about the last trainer when he started…

So, all in all, good reason for skepticism.

Not that Stanislawski isn’t a good guy! Everybody has nice things to say about him -- or at least those who don’t aren’t visible or quoted… But somehow I get the feeling “nice guy” is not what Stanislawski is about. In the meantime, I think he’s as driven and uncompromising as anyone else in this game, maybe more than most. And it’s quite possible that a mid-life crisis, not good will, brought him to Hoffenheim, which is about as contrary to the St. Pauli environment as one can get in the Bundesliga. Whatever.

In any case, “Stani” seems to be making the transition to Hoffenheim pretty well so far. He's put his stamp on things, not the least of which is taking what was just a collection of players, a couple of whom here and there worked well together (leading to certain statistics), and turning them into a team. He does seem to have a knack for nurturing young players which is, of course, what Hoffenheim is all about. And even if this team ends up in 11th place again at the end of the season, if they really will have started to play like a team, Hoffenheim will have won big and the young talented players will have learned a lot about football, the team sport. I’m with you on that, Stani. Glad that you're here!

Africa Cup

Did I read that correctly? Musona and Obasi will be leaving 1899 Hoffenheim for four weeks in the middle of the season to play in the Africa Cup? I’m rubbing my eyes but, no, I’m not dreaming.

What is this? Are we to believe that this is standard practice? Do they mean to tell us that Cissé, Allagui, Abdellaoue, Chihi, Makiadi and dozens of other Bundesliga players are just going to take a powder for a month because the homelands call? Or Premier League players, i.e. Demba Ba? I don’t think so…

This is stupid business. So much for professionals.

But hey, have a nice time! Send us a postcard! By all means, go kick a few goals for the national team because, Lord knows, you haven’t kicked any here. And don’t worry if you get injured! We’ll nurse you back to health, however long it takes, whatever it costs the team. No problem! Just, next season, could you see if you can fit your paying job into your extracurricular activities?

Hoffenheim Ultras

Ah, Hoffenheim. Rich stepchild of the Bundesliga. Not really accepted and definitely not loved as one’s own.

Ironic, because the fact is, Hoffenheim is closer to the roots of the small amateur football clubs that you find in every agile age group of each gender in every nook and cranny of this land. Its heart, that is, its fans really do come predominately from villages and towns between Mannheim and the far northern suburbs of Stuttgart.

The largest city in its direct sphere of influence is Heidelberg with a population of only 160,000, many of whom wouldn’t deign to watch football because where’s the intellectual challenge for Professor and Frau Doktor? Many Hoffenheim attendees are actually Stuttgart fans but condescend to grace the upstarts with their presence, at least until Stuttgart moves up in the table and cheap tickets are available to see them.

I remember when I first moved to Germany many years ago, by chance I encountered on the streets near the train station in Düsseldorf a chanting, roaring horde of burly men fast descending upon me, preceded by a phalanx of inexplicably smiling policemen. They were football fans. I was terrified.

On later occasions as I again encountered similar packs of young men bedecked with their flags and shirts and scarves, bellowing at full drunken volume in the echo chambers of train stations, I was no less frightened. One always stops and gives the swaggering, hostile pack free passage, police included. Hail the so-called “Ultras”. Nothing, but nothing, takes precedence over their football club.

When you go to a Hoffenheim game, you definitely get the feeling that this is a different crowd from other Bundesliga teams. Apart from Dietmar Hopp, Hoffenheim VIPs are, for example, the Oberbürgermeister of Sinsheim (pop. 35,392). Bayern München schickeria would have a very hard time fitting in here, as would the Ultras of other “traditional” (read: macho) clubs.

A Hoffenheim Ultra, as far as I can tell from attendance at games, is a 12-year-old boy drinking a Coke and wearing a Hoffenheim shirt, accompanied by mother or father or both, who don’t hesitate to reprimand him for putting too much sauce on his French fries. If he uses swear words at all – and surely not in the presence of said parents – it’s usually in a completely wrong context and ends up having the opposite of the intended effect. It could be that nothing is more important to him, also, than his football team but his range of expression about it is endearingly more limited.

Or maybe a Hoffenheim Ultra is the approximately 60-year-old woman wearing a Hoffenheim scarf who waits at the S-Bahn station in Heidelberg Weststadt/Südstadt to take the early train to every home game. When the team disappoints, she just sadly shakes her head as if saying, “Boys, boys, boys, how could you do that?”

Of course the majority of Hoffenheim fans fits the profile of young adult males between 18 and 40, like everywhere else in the Bundesliga. But I’ve never heard of Hoffenheim fans rampaging in Meckesheim Bahnhof – or anywhere else they come from, for that matter. And even if they did, how would you know? There was hardly anything there to begin with – just a few folks kicking a football.

Ryan Babel - A Head Trip

I’m a big fan of Ryan Babel. He’s one of my favorite Hoffenheim players. He comes across as just a really good guy – and it’s a thrill to watch him play when he gets the ball EXCEPT he’s not making as many goals as he clearly could. Why? Why not? I believe it’s all in his head because it’s certainly not in his feet.

I’m sure his problem is in his head because, unlike when he started with the team, Babel is in good physical condition now. That’s one of the things I admire about this guy. He joined the team and he immediately played a game with them. I’m not even sure he had time to practice with them before that miserable game against Cottbus.

We just heard from Stanislawski in the press conference before the Mainz game about how we should all be more patient with poor Obasi because the poor guy hasn’t played football in an entire year (all the while collecting his full salary, I might add). Well, only Pezzaiuoli accorded the same patience to Ryan Babel when he joined Hoffenheim after not playing for a year and also not even having had regular practice due to the English schedule. The press, especially the local press, was far less tolerant which leads me to believe that certain other members of the Hoffenheim team did not want Babel there and, as usual with Hoffenheim, started whispering in journalists’ ears.

Now THAT will build confidence if anything will, especially when your only support (Pezzaiuoli) is ousted by the same parties who are campaigning against you.

So it’s like this: Ryan Babel has an injury (like half the Hoffenheim team at any given time). In his case, it’s called a mental block and it’s as debilitating as a meniskus injury. So why not get a Dutch-speaking sport psychologist in there and TREAT IT. They’re not that hard to find, the Netherlands is only a four hour drive from Hoffenheim, and when one thinks of the amount spent on physical therapy for every other injured player on the squad, this treatment would be peanuts. If I were Babel’s agent, I would pay for it myself as an investment in one of the best potential players in the Bundesliga.

It’s a real shame that Alaba left because he was Babel’s anchor and buffer in the team. Now Babel’s under pressure to speak German which he does not know, to kick goals which he’s having a hard time doing, and to be a leader on a team which is unwelcoming and, much like a dysfunctional family, has a minefield of internal politics, not the least of which is the Balkan faction as well as the „old-timers“ who feel entitled as well as Teflon management who will find scapegoats whenever and wherever needed. 

Babel needs help to break the logjam in his head and Stanislawski is not the guy to do it. He doesn't have the personality for it, and his public statements about Babel in recent weeks indicate he doesn't have the inclination for it either. So bring in someone who can help him – for the team, for the fans, for Babel.

Mainz – More Misery or Maybe a Milestone?

Four games played in this Bundesliga season and two hours until the next one. Here’s one point of view about the season so far.

Okay, so a prediction of „Abstiegskandidat“ was a bit harsh – but the season is still young… Hoffenheim’s record is 2 wins / 2 losses or rather 2 wins, 1 sleazy goal and 1 collapse.

The problem is that Hoffenheim is still not playing grown-up football. That is, they’re not playing a 90-minute game. Except against Dortmund. Okay, they beat Augsburg, too, but who hasn’t?

Now, these guys are not children and they’re not amateurs. Theoretically, they’re Bundesliga professionals with corresponding profi salaries and professional capabilities. So why are they shirking their work hours??

How to explain Dortmund?

Why is everyone always so surprised when Hoffenheim beats Dortmund? They’ve been doing it now pretty regularly. I explain it like this: there’s a lot of bad blood between Dortmund and Hoffenheim for such a remarkably short period of coexistence in the Bundesliga. One of the main reasons is Watzke, the CEO of Dortmund, who dissed Dietmar Hopp mercilessly until Dortmund won the Championship last season and the money started to flow in. (Trash talking is rare in the Bundesliga except from Uli Hoeness of Bayern München and personal attacks in public even rarer.) Watzke knew damn well that he was inciting the rabid Dortmund fan base and he deviously used and abused that. At the end of last season Watzke made up with Hopp but he forgot to communicate that to his fans. So they still behave like barnyard animals when they visit the Hoffenheim stadium. Witness burnt fan blocks and filthy songs at top volume.

I think Hoffenheim at the beginning of their rivalry played particularly well against Dortmund because of this motivating background scenario. There was a huge amount of loyalty to Hopp from the players in 2008-2009. Then last year in the first half of the season, instead of winning a game in Dortmund which was absolutely theirs, they had to settle for a tie because of a completely wrong call and an Elfmeter in literally the last second of the game which later the ref admitted was wrong. That game more or less launched Dortmund on its way to the title and it was a bitter, bitter result for Hoffenheim.

Even more amazing, however, was when Hoffenheim beat Dortmund in their terrible second half of the past season. They shut Dortmund down and they won. Obviously they knew how because they had done it in the previous game but just weren’t rewarded for it. And since Dortmund is still the same team playing basically the same game, it’s no wonder that Hoffenheim knew how to shut them down this year as well. With every Dortmund game, they have more confidence that they have Dortmund’s number – and it shows.

Dortmund is not an anomaly. It just shows what Hoffenheim can do when it’s motivated and confident.

Game 1 / August 5

Game 1 / August 6, 2011


And they’re off!

Game 1 of the Bundesliga season and 1899 Hoffenheim is on its way to fulfilling the prophecy of „Abstiegskandidat“ (candidate for relegation). Lost 1 Won 0.

Hard to know where to start, so let’s start with something positive. Yes, Johnson was good. He was the only one playing as if he had something to prove. Everybody else was too complacent. Yes, he’s a great addition to the team, but one player does not a team make. Didn’t Hoffenheim already learn that last season with Babel?

Last season. That brings us to Hoffenheim’s favorite subject now, in past months and for the foreseeable future: that bad, bad, nasty Marco Pezzaiuoli. A name spoken in Hoffenheim circles only in the darkest tones and with a slow shake of the head. The only sure thing about Hoffenheim is that, whenever something negative happens, Pezzaiuoli is responsible for it. The perfect excuse since the previous excuse of Hoffenheim being „a young team which still needs time to develop“ is wearing thin and, besides, Rangnick has appropriated it now for Schalke. What would the second rate management do without Pezzaiuoli as a scapegoat?

The totally unbelievable official story of Pezzaiuoli brings us to Hoffenheim’s real political power: the small overpaid, underachieving, overglorified player clique who has (was given) the power to mob a trainer out of a job; they know who they are and, by the end of last season, so does the rest of the Bundesliga.

So how did they do in the game?

Well, Salihovic regularly gave the ball away as usual (to the opposing team, that is). If Salihovic weren’t so full of himself, he might actually be a player of note instead of the simply utilitarian player he is now. But when it comes to great acting routines, Salihovic is a master. He ranks right up there with the best in the Bundesliga, maybe even in Italian football. And this talent was on display again on Saturday as it is in almost every game that Salihovic plays. Nothing is more disgusting that watching him exaggeratedly flip over an outstretched foot, roll around, grimace, and hang onto whatever part of his body is most plausible to get a foul called. In other words, he’s sleazy - not the kind of player you would want your children to emulate.

And then there’s Obasi, the only Hoffenheimer who misses Demba Ba because he was such a great guy… Obasi plays as if he’s more concerned about getting injured (again!) than scoring a goal. This is what we’ve been waiting for? He delivered shots on goal that an amateur goalie could handle and, like Salihovic, gives the ball away. Frankly, Obasi was a huge disappointment. My money says he makes no goals at all this season. 

Ryan Babel – still impressed by him but it seems that he’s still struggling to fit into this team, whose Balkan Mafia probably doesn’t want him anyway. With him, it’s all a head game – and the local press as usual is pouring gas on the flame. Too bad Alaba is gone, he seemed to be Babel’s „connection“ and a really good influence. Babel knows how to get in front of things when he has the ball, more than you can say for most Hoffenheim players. Love to watch him play, would just like to see him score more goals, but of course that takes a team who’s willing to play with him.

His fellow countryman Braafheid lets his emotions get the best of him, makes foolish and way-too-hard hits which are clear fouls, and the team ends up paying for it. Saturday’s game was no exception. It’s not as if this behavior comes from inexperience. In light of it, it’s kind of surprising that he’s on his national team. On the other hand, as we saw in the World Cup last year, that seems to be the Dutch way, doesn’t it?

Re: the goal to 1:0. It was unsportsmanlike and unfair but it takes a complicit referee to make it happen. One can only speculate how it would have been perceived if it had happened to Dortmund or Bayern. And it’s absolutely rubbing salt in the wound when the Hannover coach, Slomka, not a particularly likeable guy to begin with, tries to characterize the player as „really clever“ for having taken the shot knowing the opposing team didn’t get the message. Sleaze is one way to win a game. Hope Hannover is the recipient of the same in coming games, especially in the Europa League.

Hannover was the lesser team with many, many unimaginative long balls, starting from the very beginning of the game. One has the feeling that these guys also practice the „great painful hit“ routine or maybe they were just inspired by Salihovic. At several critical times in the game it was basically Schlaudraff vs. Starke, who seems to have lost the magic of last season. All in all, Hannover was not really that impressive but they got a big lift from the home win.

And Hoffenheim? Their next game is against reigning champion Dortmund… But not to worry: it’s all Pezzaiuoli’s fault! (By the way, Pezzaiuoli won the last Hoffenheim game  against Dortmund – but you didn’t hear it from me.)